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*Rae*
23 April 2006 @ 08:06 pm
"if you can be successful in once place, you can be successful anywhere."
"i think your makingggg a mistakeee....."
ouch, thats only slightly hypocritical. i have to admit i'm really scared but at the same time really determined. even though i will feel terrible for abandoning my family esp my dad ;-( he sounds like he is gonna die when he coughs. i dont think parents ever really want to have daughters/girls but we are still exspected to stay close and take care of our parents; and i would too just out of obligation, but i dont think i'm needed. <3 nyu
 
 
Current Mood: refreshedrefreshed
Current Music: OK GO bye bye baby
 
 
*Rae*
09 October 2005 @ 11:40 am
5. Optional Information

How would you describe yourself? Responding to this inquiry is voluntary and will not be used in a discriminatory fashion.

Native American, Eskimo, or Aleut
Black or African-American
White, Caucasian, Non-Hispanic
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*Rae*
22 September 2005 @ 08:58 pm
wow worst day EVER n yet i'm not mad/ upset. In fact i dont even think i care.. it is semi-amusing though so if ur desperately bored...

650am. phew gotta get to school early enough n study for bio w/ haase. whoops brakes screw up n lightly tap a the car in front of me.
710am. ummm.. insurance information? theres no damage! u could fix that w/ white out.
730am. "i warned u things like this happen, this is the result of ur not doing what u are being told. your such a idoit. fix this right now."
809am. sign into school. missed 44 min n 43 seconds of bio class. not an absence! make up quiz tomorrow.
900am. "sure, rita u can miss class but make sure to prepare for the concert n come in for ur next 2 JA s"
1000am. major pain every time i attempt to breathe. whip lash? witness katie freak in cubano JA, slightly delighted to see someone else laugh-cry as a result of stress.;-)

1150am. <3 ms. cubano! "i have someone who loves me and cares about me too... just like you guys have parents" wow i think everyone was sorta cracking today. hehe. easy history test.
1225am. visit to haase, clinic was closed neway. i had soft tissue damage? wtf! given a lil origomi crane n boat for good luck. stefanie best scared me.(jk)
1230am. on the way to the media center to b a good lil asian n study for math test, bathroom run in w/ the
polish whore. origomi dies. close encounter w/ trash can. bitch!
1250pm. journalism room to claim my stolen car keys. not much studying
300pm. calc test is WAY too much algebra. gosh i should check my answers but i'm way to lazy;
310pm. Dr. Stone is the sponsor of chess club! peacock plays. god i'm sooo late for golf.
340pm. attracked by bugs, not kidding.
430pm. Rita meets hurricane Rita. ironically we did not get along well! under a tree, couldn't see what i was doing. no jacket/umbrella= ruined grips.
440pm. "OMG rita make it stop raining!" haha. sry! still semi-proud to cause pain, just not the kind i have to feel.
600pm. "Rita, we lost by one!" *hits my gross visor down over my eyes* right. its my fault!?!
800pm. "From now on ur gonna b in bed by 12am. clean ur car n then..."

wow most productive/ insane day ever. yet i feel slightly accomplished i mean who can crash cars, skip class, skip another class, pull off 2 tests, piss of parents to the pt of no return, n single handedly loose a golf match all in one day? not many...
 
 
Current Music: Paulina Rubia!! dame.
 
 
*Rae*
20 September 2005 @ 03:39 pm
I feel like, I would like
To be somewhere else doing something that matters
And I'll admit here, while I sit here
My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather

Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit
and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

So I say if I can't, do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trival, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it

Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right, to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything that I would ever know

I'm a little more than useless
When I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once
 
 
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: relient k - more than useless?
 
 
*Rae*
01 September 2005 @ 07:37 pm
WHAT THE FUCK!!

i'm completely suck at everything and love nothing. like some sort of empty droid who lost her way. i reject everything that i was brought up to be just for the sake of revolting. and i dont think i've ever felt more inadequate. i've always pitied those idiots walk around w/ no passion or life. they lack any form of personality and are utterly boring. their lives full of complacency and hypocrisy. maybe i've become one. Blended in with that blob of people who walk around believing that they matter or that anything else matters.
 
 
 
*Rae*
14 August 2005 @ 11:50 am

i love everything. I love breathing. life is wonderful despite the fact we have to go to school and hav a future. Picking out colleges is fun. I enjoy doing this, and so with my new found positive non-bitchy attitude here it is: my future.

 

college listCollapse )

 
 
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: black rebel motorcycle
 
 
*Rae*
19 December 2004 @ 03:24 pm
yikes! winter break so far has been SO much fun. except today was exciting/semi-tramatic...I got into my first accident with a moving vehicle. the person in front of me stopped, but i kept going. situation- i'm afriad badly handled. becuz i was feeling gulity at the time we didn't trade any info, but my car has a hole in the front! now, when i think back on it the occurence was TOTALLY her fault. u can't randomly hit the breaks ANYTIME u feel like it. she prob wanted me to crash into her to show off the fact that SUV's are so much cooler the reg. cars~
Anyway i left dazed and was in rush to get to NHS volunteering at MM. MapQuest- not as accurate as i thought, i am now greatly experienced with the dangers of highway mergeing and cell phone driving. so MM is on NORTH FLORIDA avenue.. obviously/logically i went NORTH (for about 1+ hours leaving tampa, with Molly's encouragement) well, u should actually go South for about 2o min.!!! my new record= lost for 3 1/2 hours.
Smitty is not too happy so i get to repeat this adventure tommorrow (hopefully w/ success?). pictures to come as soon as i get the courage to actually look at my poor Courtny! ;-(
PS. logical/not my fault reasons for why and how a hole got in my bumper appreciated. dont get me wrong i would tell the turth, but then my parents would b dissappointed in me and i'd rather spare them the sadness. (i no, i'm such a great daughter)
leading explaination - guy on a bike ran into me.
 
 
*Rae*
06 December 2004 @ 03:33 am
Diet coke= poison! OMG i only had like 6/7/8 glasses and i'm going insane! way TOO much caffine. i woke up at 7am and i can't sleep.. knoing <3 of darkness isn't gonna help if i'm sleeping or if my hand is shaking so much that i can't write! and i'll dead during history review.. and too tired to study bio!! URGH! i completely blame this on hayes and price, u drink liters at a time it looked so harmless. I HOPE UR HAPPY!